In which our hero talks about, well, charity and mental health. No, really, there’s a connection!
There’s a young lady… single mom, 2 kids… her little boy is my younger son’s best friend. She’s working stupid hours at a daycare, and it’s clear she ain’t getting rich, y’know? I hunted her down and explained that as an Indigenous man, in my tradition and culture, since our sons love each other so much, they’re family. Which makes him my family, which means I’m responsible for him.
I asked to be allowed to give her food. She didn’t want to, of course. This North American culture considers sharing as charity. But I took away her argument by making it an “Indigenous cultural tradition” thing. She couldn’t let pride make her refuse, or she’d be a racist! I can’t stop thinking about how messed up we’ve become that we won’t allow people to help us because we consider it failure.
Why is accepting charity a bad thing? Why is accepting it bad, but giving it good? I’ve done it myself. “I don’t want your fucking charity!” Think about that for a second. We commend people, especially rich people, for giving to charity. Hell, we demand it of them! But we refuse to accept charity because we consider it weakness or failure or some such shit. How does someone give to charity if nobody will accept it? How can people who desperately need a hand accept that hand if we, as a society, consider charity moral weakness or financial failure and look down on those who accept it?
Pretty much every culture I know of considers charity a beneficent act. We all, across the planet, seem to agree that giving help to those who need it is an act that God (by whatever name you know him/her/it) consider positive. So, how did we get to this point where we demand people help those in need but look down on those in need for taking that help? That’s weird. But it gets weirder, hang on.
If someone is trying to give us something to get themselves closer to the Divine Power, and we refuse to accept it, aren’t we then preventing them from meeting their sacred responsibilities? Pretty much every religion I know of demands charitable acts as a religious obligation. If nobody will take that charity, then the giver can’t meet their spiritual duty. It’s kind of like the person who needs the charity is being selfish, in a spiritual sense, y’know? See? Weird, right?
Well, we do the same damn thing with mental health. I can’t even guess how many people, not just public safety pers, but people from all walks of life, have refused to reach out to mental health supports because of stigma. Which is the same silly shit as the “I don’t need your fucking charity!” thing above. If you got stabbed in the chest, would you let me slap on a bandage? If you slipped on the ice, would you let me help you up? But I see it everywhere. Corrections and police officers do it all the time with me. This idea that they “shouldn’t have” an OSI or PTSD because only soldiers have “earned” it. Nurses, dispatchers, and paramedics being shamed by their managers for struggling with an OSI or PTSD because they “shouldn’t have” one; their job is caring for others and being injured is not just a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of selfishness (no, really, I hear versions of that all the time). It goes on and on.
Weird, right? If we, as humans, see someone who needs help we want to help and want that person to be helped. But not if it’s us who needs help… that’s so messed up.