I fell back into madness because of sleep deprivation. I was in so much pain from my spine disease and stomach pains that I couldn’t sleep. Lack of sleep is incredibly stressful on the body’s nervous system, and it activated all the trauma shit. After a few weeks without sleep, minor irritations were blown way out of proportion, and I couldn’t make decisions. That made me a shitty husband and father. That caused more stress. Not knowing what was causing the pain was more stressful. Thankfully, I did something about it before I rode the crazy train all the way back. Step one had to be prioritizing sleep.
Simple steps like setting the room for sleep, curtains and closed doors to make it as dark as possible. I stop looking at screens an hour before bed and turn off or down any artificial light. Cell phone, laptop, or TV screens don’t give off enough light to boost alertness, but they do give off enough light to prevent melatonin production and hinder or prevent sleep. Blue light screen between roughly 11 pm and 4 am have been shown to increase depression. When I couldn’t sleep during this period, I used to turn on the TV, laptop or my phone, when I’d wake in the night, even though I knew better. I was literally making myself more ill.
Now, when anxiety or pain wakes me up, if the meds can’t keep my hillbilly ass out, I use guided meditation to relax the body and clear the mind, and audio soundtracks that project theta and delta waves. I rarely wake in the night anymore, though, because I went back on sleeping pills. I used to add 10 mg of two-stage melatonin when anxiety burned through my Trazadone in the early weeks. I used to use over the counter stuff with Diphenhydramine in it too, but I can’t now I’m back on Wellbutrin. Keep in mind that melatonin can’t be used for extended periods. It’s a hormone and if you continually put an exogenous hormone into your body, your body stops making it.
I keep to a consistent bedtime and wake up time. No matter how groggy I am at 5 am, I get up and get my day going. Hitting the snooze button actually makes us more tired because we don’t fall back to a restful sleep. It’s counterproductive. I get my sorry ass up, turn on lights, do a morning breathing meditation, and exercise. That takes an hour, and then I have coffee. Yeah, it’s uncomfortable sometimes. Discipline is the best tool we have to beat mental illness. Self-discipline is self-love.
I wait an hour minimum for my first coffee to prevent the afternoon crash that might send me into depression. I stopped drinking coffee immediately because it doesn’t actually wake us up, it just messes with the adenosine receptors in our bodies, kicks adrenaline loose, and we crash in the afternoon. I replaced all the lightbulbs in the house with daylight bulbs to counteract Seasonal Affective Disorder. When I turn on all the sunlight bulbs in the kitchen and dining room, I get the equivalent of morning sunlight, so it kickstarts the cortisol system, and shuts down any residual adenosine and melatonin.
Why am I talking about my morning routine when this is about sleep? Because these things get the body’s hormonal system working. It wakes the body up and so, gets the body ready to go to sleep in about 16 hours. A proper wake up routine sets the body up for success come bedtime.
More to follow, over.